Friday, April 1, 2011

MOVING HOUSE AND I.H.

On a cold, snowy day back in January we finally came to the conclusion that we needed to move house. It's something we'd been discussing more and more over the past year or so.
We moved here shortly after my husband's IH diagnosis when we didn't really know much about IH, and we certainly had no idea how our lives were going to change over the coming years and just how much IH would affect every aspect of our lives.

Looking back to how life was then, it is a complete contrast to how it is now.
My husband had just retired from work through ill health (thanks to IH) and I'd just given up my job to become his full time carer. The children were really small; just 7 yrs old and 3 yrs old and we thought that this was the way life was going to be from now on....except that life had other plans for us!

Looking back I remember how difficult the move here was. I vowed I would never ever move again. My husband and the children went to stay with family and friends while I moved everything with the help of some amazing friends, family and a fantastic removals company.
You may wonder why my husband stayed with family while I moved.... the answer is simple. Thanks to IH, he couldn't cope with all the rushing around, lots of people in and out of the house, the added noise around him .. it all left him feeling confused and in pain. So it was decided pretty early on that he would go and stay with family for a couple of days while I moved. The children stayed with a dear friend of mine - it was just easier that way because they were so young.

It was a tough process, and the removals company were so moved by our situation that when I got to our new house, there wasn't one removal lorry outside - there were two!!! Apparently the 2nd team had finished early that day, and when they heard of our situation they drove over to meet our removals team to help out. They were all so kind, and even now it brings a tear to my eye remembering how supportive they all were.

After they had all gone I stayed up all night unpacking boxes so that we'd be more or less unpacked and organised by the time my husband and children came home the following day.
You might think that was a little crazy... and you'd be right, infact it was very crazy ( but hey that's me! LOL) No, seriously all joking aside... there was a reason behind this craziness. You see for the previous couple of months, infact everytime I'd packed up a box, the noise of the packing tape had hurt my husband's head so badly that I'd ended up packing all the boxes upstairs well away from my husband's sensitive ears, and carrying them downstairs once they were packed (and heavy! - it did wonders for my back - NOT!!!!!) How I wish they'd invent silent packing tape!!! LOL. It would make life so much easier.

So now you see why 'crazy' Vicki thought it would be a better idea to just get everything unpacked before he came home to the new house!

As the years followed and we learned more and more about IH, we came to realise that maybe the house I'd vowed we'd never move from, might not be the forever house for us.
We hadn't understood just how the noise sensitivity would affect us as a family.... as the years passed it became apparent that my husband needed a 'quiet' room to go to on the bad days, especially seeing as the bad days far outweigh the good days.

This has been emphasised in the past 18 months since I started working from home again - my 'office' being an alcove in the lounge. The bad IH days are tough when even the clickety clack of the keyboard hurts my husband's head.... so the writing's on the wall as they say. It's time to move.

They say that moving house is one of the most stressful things you'll ever do..... whoever 'they' are, they need to move house with an IH sufferer in the family. Stressful is such an understatement!

I'm fast remembering all the different reasons behind my statement 7 yrs ago "I'm never ever moving again!" LOL

I just wish people who aren't affected by IH could understand how complex it all is.

Living with the complexities of IH is difficult at the best of times, but when you throw the whole 'selling your house, finding a new house and moving into that new house' into the mix it becomes almost impossible at times.

How devoting the time needed to 'declutter' and pack boxes, makes the day to day routines of dealing with IH so difficult to maintain. That then leads to the carer feeling stressed; feeling they need more hours in a day. The IH sufferer feels frustrated and in a sense guilty that they can't do more to help their partner, because their IH gets in the way of them helping as much as they'd like to.

Yet again it's another example of how living with IH can make the most normal of things so complex.

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